it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
