Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
