Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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