And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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