Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
