I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
