So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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