Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The adults are the big ones right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
