Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
