the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
