did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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