He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
