I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Porn is love you can see.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
