I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
