I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
