Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
