another moral hangover. fuck.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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