his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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