My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Banned from zoo.
Again?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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