I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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