My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
