6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
