kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
