Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
