The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
