girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
