i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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