Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
