Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
try to milk me bitch
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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