i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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