What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize