Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
