i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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