I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
