A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
