Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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