I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
