Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
