i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
