i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
