I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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