after a month anything with tits is on the radar
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
