he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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