Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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