Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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