Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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