it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
