I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, beer. Big fan.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
