we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
