He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
only if we run a train.
done.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
