i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
